I'll Be Holding Onto You
by RabbitHole26
Summary: Imogen was lonely and heartbroken over Fiona and this seemed to cause her to revert back to her old ways, to her obsessive side, with Adam. Based off the S13 promos. Fimogen.
1. surrounding all my surroundings

**So after the season 12 finale and all of these trailers for season 13, I started writing this so I can pretend that even after the pointless holding back of Imogen, she ends up with Fiona in the end. Like always your comments are very appreciated, and let me know if I should continue or not! **

Imogen was never good at being alone.

Yet somehow she seemed to spend most of her life alone, wishing that she had people in her life to relate to, people in her life to share things with. Imogen was an observer, a wallflower, so she would study people and wish that they could be friends, but she never had the guts to try and talk to them. She knew she was "weird" and her attempts to make friends when she was younger always failed, so eventually she just stopped trying.

...

"_You're playing Clara, right?" a voice asked from behind Imogen, so she turned around to see who was speaking to her. _

"_Uh, yeah, I'm Imogen," she replied, finding herself face to face with Fiona, the only grade 12 in her drama class. _

"_I'm Fiona," the older girl replied, extending her hand out to shake._

"_I know," Imogen replied, ignoring the attempted handshake, positive that the girl in front of her would begin to give her a hard time for something, anything. _

"_Oh, well, I just wanted to formally introduce myself since I'm the director," Fiona said, dropping her hand slowly, "I thought maybe it would be good if we got to know each other a little bit, maybe we could meet after school and run lines or just chat..." she trailed off slowly. Imogen was looking at the girl confused, trying to process the fact that Fiona was actually asking her to hang out. No one ever asked her to hang out, even if it was just to run lines._

"_You're probably busy, never mind," Fiona spoke again, awkwardly, before turning and starting to head out of the room._

"_Wait!" Imogen called out, as the other girl turned around, "I could use the practice. I'm free after school today?"_

"_Great! I'll meet you here then," Fiona responded with a laugh, before turning back towards the door and exiting the room._

_Imogen felt herself start to smile._

...

After everything with Eli, she finally found what she had been looking for all along, and it happened to be a girl named Fiona Coyne. For almost a full year, she was happier than she had ever been in her entire life. Finding your soul mate at age seventeen may seem ridiculous to most people, but Imogen truly believed she had. Until she spent more time taking care of her ailing father and less time on her school work, which resulted in her not being able to graduate. She would be stuck at Degrassi for another year.

Fiona didn't fault her for this, because if anyone understood being held back, Fiones did. The problem was that Fiona _was _graduating and going off to design school, in New York. Before New York, though, Fiona was going to spend the summer in Italy, interning with some hot shot named Federico. A couple of weeks after Fiona moved, they decided not to talk anymore because it was too hard. Imogen was alone again.

...

"_Come on Fiones, tell me where we are going!" Imogen whined, as her girlfriend tugged on her hand, leading her down the streets of Toronto. _

"_We're almost there, I promise you are going to like this," Fiona responded, smirking as she laced their fingers together._

"_If you are dragging me to another Olivia Wilde movie, I swear, I will leave you," Imogen replied, half joking. _

_The girls stopped in front of a large building that appeared to be some type of art gallery, but Imogen had never been to it before, so she couldn't be sure what was inside. _

"_I know how into photography you are, and they have an Annie Leibovitz exhibit, so I thought it would be perfect for us. I can look at the people and the clothes and you can look at all that artsy stuff. Oh, and I already bought the tickets," Fiona said as she fumbled around in her bag, holding them up when she found them._

_Imogen couldn't contain her smile. Ever since her and Fiona had become more than friends, they hadn't really gone out on a legitimate date anywhere. Sure, they would go on walks and go to parks or other places, but never anywhere that cost anything. Most of it had to do with Fiona's financial situation, but some of it was the fact that the socialite was completely content with watching movies every night for the past several months, while Imogen was a little more adventurous. The fact that Fiona had gone out of her way to plan something that they could enjoy together, and saved up for it, caused Imogen to blurt out, "I love you." _

_Fiona looked at her, eyes wide with shock, "Really?"_

_Imogen pretended to think about it for a minute, when in all honesty she had known she was in love with the dark haired girl for weeks._

"_Yeah. Really. I love you, Fiona Coyne," she replied with a smile._

"_I love you too," Fiona eventually responded, blushing furiously. _

...

So she had a mental breakdown of sorts. But she didn't want to make it obvious, and she didn't want to look pathetic. When she found out that most of her classes were with Adam, who she was friendly with from WhisperHug, she latched onto him. Hard. Imogen was lonely and heartbroken and this seemed to cause her to revert back to her old ways, to her obsessive side, and Adam started to feel like Eli all over again. It wasn't enough to be friends with Adam, she wanted to be his girlfriend too, his number one priority, so he could be her number one distraction. So she pushed and pushed until Becky got fed up with all of the time they spent together and dumped him, clearing the path that Imogen had been carefully setting up.

...

"_But what if we get to school and you realize I'm holding you back, and you want to break up," Imogen mumbled, thinking about every terrible situation she thought could happen if she applied to the same design school as Fiona. _

"_Immy, seriously, how many times do I have to tell you? I am so happy with you, and I want to be in the same city as you next year. Long distance hardly ever works, and I want to be with you," Fiona responded, typing out her own application on her laptop._

"_We're only eighteen though, what if you look back on these years and regret that you spent them tied down to your weird high-school girlfriend? Everyone says that your college years are when you should be single and free to do whatever you want," Imogen started again._

"_First of all, you aren't weird, you're cute. Second of all, I don't care what other people 'think' we should be doing with our lives. I know that you and I have a bond that is rare, it's special, and I refuse to throw it away just because society has decided that we are 'too young' to be 'tied down'," Fiona replied angrily, making air-quotes with her fingers and rolling her eyes the entire time. She stood up and walked over to Imogen, leaning down to kiss her gently._

"_I want you with me, it doesn't even matter where we are, I just want you there," Fiona said when they broke apart, and Imogen simply nodded in agreement. _

...

By the time she started dating Adam, it was springtime, and they would both be graduating in just a few months. Dating him didn't make her feel better though, because compared to her relationship with Fiona, it felt totally wrong. The relationship had served it's purpose as a distraction for a short period of time, but it never fully worked. Adam was a wonderful guy, but she just couldn't make herself love him. She hadn't spoken to Fiona in months, but the socialite was still in her head and her heart everyday. Imogen had reapplied to the design school that Fiona was at, the school she was supposed to be at too, and she had gotten in. She didn't tell anyone though because she couldn't decide if she should go, couldn't decide if being that close to Fiona would drive her crazy. Crazier.

It's while Imogen is at a graduation party, with Adam, when Eli shows up with Jake, Drew, Bianca and Fiona. They have all returned from their respective schools for summer break and are excited to see all of the old faces from Degrassi. Adam stands up to greet everyone and the image of him hugging Fiona is too much for Imogen, so she retreats to the restroom.

Once she calms herself down, she opens the door and finds herself face to face with Fiona for the first time in about a year.

"Hey Immy," Fiona says with knowing smirk, almost as if she knows the effect it is having on the younger girl.

"Hi," Imogen mutters, trying to move past the girl, but having no luck.

"Look, I know you've been seeing Adam and I'm happy for you. It doesn't have to be weird between us. I've been dating at school too, so it really shouldn't be awkward. I just want you to be happy and I'm glad you have found someone who is good to you," the older girl says, her eyes conveying her sincerity.

Imogen tries her hardest not to start crying, but she can't seem to help it. The tears start to flow and Fiona's expression changes from happy to concerned.

"I miss you so much," Imogen chokes out, wiping her eyes furiously, "I'm miserable."

Before the older girl can say anything, Imogen pushes past her and walks outside, taking a moment to collect herself, before returning to the party and sitting back down next to Adam, trying her hardest to act like nothing happened.

Fiona doesn't try to speak with her again that night.


	2. i'm lost at sea

Waking up in her old loft was a surreal feeling for Fiona, but she couldn't dwell on that for long once she realized she only had fifteen minutes to get ready before she needed to meet Eli. She quickly got dressed and headed out into the city, walking several blocks towards the coffee ship they agreed to meet at. The dark haired boy already had a table in the corner, so once she got her drink she gave him a huge hug before sitting down.

"So, did you have fun last night?" Eli asked with his trademark smirk.

"It's weird to be back and see...everyone," Fiona replied while taking a sip of her coffee. Eli raised his eyebrows and gave her a look that suggested there was something she wasn't telling him.

"What?" Fiona questioned with a laugh.

"Was it weird seeing _everyone_ or just a certain someone?" the boy responded.

"Okay, it was a little awkward seeing Imogen. But I was trying to be nice and normal, she was the one who got all weird about it," Fiona said.

Eli simply nodded in agreement, "I noticed that too. Luckily I don't think anyone else did." Fiona knew that by 'everyone else', he meant Adam, and she felt bad. She had no intentions of ruining whatever relationship Imogen and Adam had by being back over the summer, but it did make her wonder why Imogen had been so upset by her presence. Surely she was over Fiona, after all, Imogen was the one with a boyfriend and they hadn't spoken in a year, but if that was the case why had she told Fiona that she was miserable and she missed her? Fiona had dated a few girls the past year, but none of them seemed to be right for her. Sure, they were all attractive, smart, and fun, but she never felt that _bond_ with any of them. At least not compared to the bond she had with Imogen.

Fiona snapped out of her thoughts when Eli waved his hand in front of her face, "Earth to Fiona!"

"Sorry. I was just thinking," the socialite replied.

"About?" Eli asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Imogen. Me and Imogen," Fiona sighed, "Pointless thoughts, though."

Eli shrugged, "I think most of the time even though people change, their relationships with each other don't."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Fiona questioned.

Eli considered her question for a moment before responding, "Depends."

"On what?" the girl asked.

"If it was a good relationship or a bad one," he said.

The two spent the rest of their time together talking about much less loaded topics, like the weather and the latest movies that were showing. About an hour later they got up and walked outside, preparing to head home. They made plans to hangout again soon, since they both had nothing going on during the summer, and embraced once again. Fiona turned and began to walk back towards her loft, but she heard Eli calling out her name and saw him slowly jogging back up to her.

"Look, I love Adam like a brother, but he's not right for Imogen. I think everyone knows that," Eli said with a smile, before turning back around and waking away.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Fiona replied with a confused laugh.

"Whatever you want it to," he yelled over his shoulder, disappearing around the corner.

...

Imogen was having a terrible morning. Adam came over to surprise her with a new camera, a graduation gift, but fifteen minutes into the visit he brought up going to school in the fall. Adam was staying in Toronto, and as far as he knew, so was Imogen. He had started talking about how they could visit each other between classes and stay over in each other's dorms on the weekends, and Imogen nodded her head, pretending that her acceptance letter from the school in New York _wasn't_ sitting ten feet away on her kitchen table. When her father came into the living room and heard them talking about school, however, he asked Adam if Imogen had told him the good news about New York yet. She was busted. They ended up arguing about her lying, and the fact that their relationship would become long distance if she decided to go. Adam stormed out, but what worried Imogen the most was that he hadn't seemed to put two and two together yet, that New York also included living in the same city as her ex-girlfriend, and she didn't know how to handle that argument when it finally clicked in his head. Imogen didn't really know how to handle any of it, honestly, because she wasn't sure that she wanted to continue a relationship with him, regardless of how close she would end up being to Fiona Coyne. Hurting Adam was the last thing she had ever intended to do, but it seemed like the consequences of her desperate search for a distraction were catching up with her.

It was a short hour later when Imogen got the angry text from Adam. She was taking her father for a walk around the block when she felt her phone buzz and her stomach dropped. All it said was, "new york? with fiona? really?" and when she tried to call him back, she found that his phone was off.

She called Eli because she didn't know who else to talk to about everything, and she knew that he was still close with both Fiona and Adam.

"First, you need to figure out what you want with Adam. If you want to pursue a future with him, then commit to it. If you don't want to, then end it now. Second, take some time to yourself. Figure out what you want, without anyone else involved. Adam was a huge rebound, I think you need time alone to sort out your feelings," Eli had wisely told her, without any judgment.

Breaking up with Adam sucked, but Imogen stood her ground and got through it. He was angry but she knew that it was for the best. He would go off to University and be free to do whatever he wanted, and to date whoever he wanted. It wasn't even two days later that she found herself staring at Fiona's number on her phone, debating whether she should call it. A huge part of Imogen wanted to call her, more than anything, but Eli's words kept echoing in her head.

Imogen turned her phone off.


	3. you could be my luck

Imogen decides to take Eli's advice to heart and doesn't turn her phone back on for the entire summer. She signs up for an art camp in Vancouver and takes off, leaving all of her electronics behind. She mails Eli a letter and tells him where she is, but instructs him to tell anyone asking about her that she is fine and just taking some time to herself.

The next two months are some of the best of Imogen's life. She spends her entire time making new friends, and she doesn't fall for any boys or girls or feel a need to be attached, or clingy, or the center of anyone's attention. She improves her artistic skills tremendously, and for the first time in a long time, Imogen feels like she belongs, like she's genuinely part of something. She knows its cliché, but she really feels like she grew up in those months, like she figured herself out. She's more confident, she has a more mature style, and she feels prepared and excited for the next chapter of her life – University.

She decides to go to New York, because it's a chance to experience something new, and even though her ex lives there, she knows that there are millions of people in the city, so the chances of them running into each other are slim to none. She's happy being single too, and although she would be lying if she said she never thought about Fiona still, she's content not having the girl in her life anymore.

Imogen waits until she is completely moved into her new dorm room to turn her phone back on. Most of the texts she would have gotten are expired, so the only ones she actually gets are from her friends from camp, telling her to respond once she is back with the technologic world. She has another text from Eli, which says the same, as well as wishing her luck on her first day of classes. She discovers she has two voicemails. One is from Adam, so she deletes it without listening to it, and the other is from a number that sounds suspiciously like Fiona's. She debates listening to it, but eventually she lets it play.

"_Hi Immy, it's me. Uh, Fiona. I just wanted to...um...see how you are. Eli told me you're away but I just thought I'd call and see if maybe you were checking your messages? I'm being totally awkward so just call me if you want. Or not...thats okay too, really, seriously. God, sorry I am such a spaz...bye."_

A small smile appeared on Imogen's face as she listened to Fiona's message, but it faded as she debated whether she should call the older girl back. She decides against it, knowing well that a lot can change in two months.

After an amazing week of classes, Imogen decides to spend her first Friday night exploring the city, turning down several party invites on her way outside. She's several blocks away from campus when she finds a unique looking art gallery tucked away among the endless storefronts. Imogen ducks inside the small space and admires the work that hangs on the wall. Her favorites are two charcoal sketches that she assumes must have been done by someone who is into fashion. They are for two dresses, both of which somehow combine a distinct uniqueness with classic elegance. She hears the door open and the boy at the front desk starts talking to whoever came in.

"I'm just dropping this one off, what time do you want me to get here tomorrow?" the girl says, and Imogen swears her voice sounds familiar. She doesn't pay much attention though, until she hears the girl call out her name.

"Imogen? Is that you?"

Imogen turns and finds herself face to face with the one, the only, Fiona Coyne.

"What are you doing here?" Fiona asks, wide-eyed, clearly shocked that Imogen was in New York.

"I go to school here...I re-applied last year," Imogen answers.

Fiona looked slightly hurt upon hearing this and the younger girl mentally kicked herself for not tell her that she had applied again, so she could have avoided an awkward run in like this was now.

Fiona broke the tension by speaking again, "Friday night alone in a gallery? I thought you'd be checking out the parties and stuff."

Imogen smiled, "Not really into parties, you know I stick out like a sore thumb. Especially at some wannabe frat house..."

"Hey, we're at design school, there are absolutely _no _douchey guys here.." Fiona responded sarcastically, letting out a laugh, "unless that's what you're into these days?"

Imogen giggled, "Definitely not. They will not be changing my single status anytime soon."

Fiona raised her eyebrows at Imogen's admittance, and even though it looked like she wanted to ask about the Adam break up, she didn't. Instead, she changed the subject, which Imogen was grateful for.

"So, do you like these?" the socialite nodded towards the sketches Imogen had been admiring.

"I love them. I would try to steal them if that dude wasn't standing behind the front desk," Imogen joked.

"Wow, I've never had someone like my stuff so much that they would break the law for it..." Fiona commented.

Imogen's eyes went wide, "These are yours? Fiones, since when do you draw?"

"Since I started school. Can't be a good designer if you don't sketch," she replied, "anyway they are having a little show here tomorrow night... all student work. You should come, or maybe submit an original Moreno photograph?" Fiona turned to the boy near the front and mumbled something to him, and he handed her a small piece of paper. She then turned back to Imogen and handed her the flyer. "It starts around four, it's an early thing."

On the flyer it listed a couple of names under "Presented By" and Imogen notices that Fiona's was one of them. "You organize these things?" she asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yep. I have to do something on the weekends that doesn't involve a bar. Plus, it's like planning prom, only more fun and less stress." The older girl glanced down at her watch, "Look, I've got to run, but I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

"Maybe," Imogen replied with a playful tone.

"Fair enough," Fiona said as she walked out the door, leaving the younger girl to process what exactly had just happened.


End file.
